It’s hard to say whether there has always been what came to be known in the 60s as the “battle of the sexes.” It’s easy to put all the blame for the increasing hostility between (some) men and (some) women, or perhaps more appropriately, the classes “men” and “women,” on feminism.
To be fair, to the extent that men and women are different, even in our complementarity, there is always going to be friction of some kind and level between types of people with differences in needs, interests, and visions of the good.
But let’s face it, modern feminism has been a disaster, based on simplistic notions about inherent oppression, the stupid aggression of men, and a misplaced notion that men don’t have skills that women don’t. Modern feminism, in its most extreme form, tries to wipe away the essential differences between men and women while simultaneously asserting, quite often, that women would be superior in many respects.
And, most dangerously, modern feminism has denigrated women who are too feminine and their necessary role in family life. As much as feminism whinges about misogyny, the implicit ideal life for women is portrayed as the power-player in economics and politics–career before family.
American women have never been this resigned to staying single. The challenges of finding a romantic partner have been made more complicated by a growing divide in education and career prospects between men and women.
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— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) June 21, 2025
I have long thought that the overselling of career satisfaction is the worst lie feminism has taught, mainly because most people actually don’t have “fulfilling” careers. A vanishingly small number of people derive great satisfaction from their jobs–they may enjoy economic success, prestige, or parts of their jobs. Still, only a small elite find life fulfillment from their work. We work to live, not the other way around.
That’s also the great lie about affirmative action, or the focus on how many women run Fortune 500 companies. Statistically speaking, nobody does. Why does it matter how many people in X group go to Harvard? The sum total of Harvard grads is asymptotically close to zero, as is the number of CEOs in large companies. It’s like worrying about the statistical distribution of US presidents from different groups — there have only been 45 people total who have been president, so the total quotient of racial or sexual “justice” would remain unchanged regardless of the distribution.
But the effects on the personal level of accepting the principles of social justice or feminism can be vast. Encouraging women to aspire to be “girl bosses” and spending a lot of time denigrating masculinity has misshapen our culture. There is nothing inherently wrong about individual women being career-focused–in the great Bell Curve of life, I am sure many women who pursue careers can find fulfillment, but the determination to reshape the Bell Curve in an unnatural way, especially based on the hoax that work provides the essential meaning to life, has been devastating.
After a handful of underwhelming relationships and dozens of disappointing first dates, Andrea Vorlicek recently called off the search for a husband.
The 29-year-old always thought she’d have found her life partner by now. Instead, she’s house hunting solo and considering having kids on her own.
“I’m financially self-sufficient enough to do these things myself,” said Vorlicek, a Boston-based accountant. “I’m willing to accept being single versus settling for someone who isn’t the right fit.”
She sees her plans for an independent future as making the best of a lousy situation. “I don’t want to sit here and say I’m 100% happy,” Vorlicek said. “But I feel happier just accepting my reality. It’s mentally and emotionally a sense of peace.”
American women have never been this resigned to staying single. They are responding to major demographic shifts, including huge and growing gender gaps in economic and educational attainment, political affiliation and beliefs about what a family should look like.
“The numbers aren’t netting out,” said Daniel Cox, director of the survey center at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), a conservative think tank. He ticked off the data points: More women than men are attending college, buying houses and focusing on their friendships and careers over dating and marriage.
The modern “Battle of the Sexes” has left both men and women less happy than they otherwise would be. The problem with modern feminism is not just that it relies on fundamentally unjust means–holding back men and elevating women to create an artificial statistical equality–but rather its attack on the natural inclinations of people to gravitate to different types of pursuits.
Sex differences in book preferences on Goodreads: More male than female reviewers for philosophy, politics, comics, and graphic novels; more female than male reviewers for everything else. Largest sex differences for romance novels and chick lit. pic.twitter.com/Yx2G7g8Zy9
— Steve Stewart-Williams (@SteveStuWill) September 10, 2023
Men and women are different, with different inclinations. The feminization of men and the masculinization of women are ruining lives.
Stories of women complaining about the lack of quality men have long infused pop culture—from “Pride and Prejudice” to Taylor Swift’s oeuvre. Yet women throughout history rarely questioned whether finding and securing a romantic partner should be a primary goal of adulthood.
This seems to be changing. Over half of single women said they believed they were happier than their married counterparts in a 2024 AEI survey of 5,837 adults. Just over a third of surveyed single men said the same.
A 2022 Pew survey of single adults showed only 34% of single women were looking for romance, compared with 54% of single men, down from 38% and 61% in 2019. Men were also more likely than women to say they were worried that nobody would want to date them.
A rise in earning power and a decline in the social stigma for being single has allowed more women to be choosy. “They would rather be alone than with a man who holds them back,” Cox said.
For young women especially, who tout their “boy sober” and off-the-market status on TikTok and other social media, the focus has shifted toward self-improvement, friendship and the ability to find happiness on their own. Surveys show a decline in teenage relationships, and Gen Z is having less sex than previous generations, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
It is not outdated to view this trend as a bad thing. The single lifestyle has many attractions for people, at least when they are young, but then again, many things that are not good for our long-term happiness.
The glorification of careers and status has more to do with this social shift than the pursuit of fleeting pleasure, although the latter certainly plays a role. The sexual revolution that followed the introduction of birth control was certainly driven by the ability to pursue pleasures without consequences by reducing the cost of self-indulgence.
But encouraging women to dive into careers has little to do with pleasure and everything to do with prestige. Women have been encouraged to see fulfillment as the product of being good producers, just as men used to be encouraged to be good providers. As women have embraced that role, many men have gone in the opposite direction. The difference is that men didn’t denigrate women for contributing less to the household economy; modern women want men to pull their weight or exceed them in income.
Marriage rates for both men and women are in decline, in part owing to less pressure to pair off and higher expectations for a would-be match. “Dating apps make people feel like there might always be a better option,” said Melissa Kearney, an economist at the University of Maryland. “They view looking for a marriage partner the same way that you view looking for a job candidate.”
But men seem more satisfied with their options than women. A 2023 AEI survey of college-educated women found that half blamed their singlehood largely on an inability to find someone who meets their expectations. Less than a quarter of single men said the same.
“To the extent that some women are staying single because this is what they want, that’s great,” said Kearney. “But we have to take seriously the likelihood that many are doing it as a Plan B because they’re not finding what they’re looking for, and that should make us concerned.”
Modern feminism has led women to reject men much more than the other way around. More men say that marriage is important to their fulfillment, and fewer say that the women around them aren’t “good enough” for them.
Obviously, this makes men unhappy–but in the long term, it will make women less happy as well. It will turn out that high-status jobs are in the long run, less fulfilling than family life, and by the time that reality hits home, family life will be out of reach.
Katie spent the first half of 2024 going on three or four dates a week with men she met on apps, such as Hinge and Bumble, in the hopes of finding a husband before turning 30. By the end of the year, she had ramped down the search, calling it “the only thing you can put 10,000 hours into and end up right where you started.”
Many of the men Katie met, she said, either seemed turned off by her ambition or weren’t career-oriented enough for her. She felt discouraged by just how many of her male friends similarly said they expect their future wives to prioritize their families over their jobs.
This trend is harming individuals–we have created horribly unrealistic expectations of what a good life is for people–and it is horrible for society as well, as birth rates have crashed. We could argue about how good or bad the feminization of our politics is–I would argue it is terrible–but I think it is hard to argue that the feminization of our society has led to lots of unhappiness.
You can see the results in the surveys of how happy people are. The feminized left reports higher levels of unhappiness, while conservatives report higher levels of life satisfaction.
That should be no surprise. The left is all about rewriting human nature. The right is about adapting to who we really are.
