Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Bendrick was the only one who couldn’t see the potential for disaster in his “mac and cheese and hot yoga” studio idea.
A hot topic of conversation among Americans of all political persuasions these days is whether President-in-Theory Joe Biden will be running the country completely into the ground for reelection next year.
The question of whether he even can run is a valid one. Biden didn’t really have to campaign in 2020. He just had to sit still for a few minutes in his basement and concentrate on not drooling while his wife spoke for him on videos that looked like they were produced by one of his grandkids. If this guy has to leave the White House more than 10 times between August and November of next year he might be sapped of the will to sniff young children.
While much of America wonders if the old boy is healthy enough for a full presidential campaign we all know that his shrew of a wife doesn’t care about such things. DOCTOR Mama Jill just wants another four years of parading around in garish upholstery fabric dresses and forcing the propaganda media to say she looks good. Joe’s health be damned, Jill wants to get her First Lady on for a while longer.
It’s no secret that most Democrats would prefer a president who was a little less vintage. The problem facing them is that their bench is — and has been for a long time now — weaker than the weakest weak sauce.
Athena sees it somewhat differently and wrote a great piece yesterday about the current state of the Democrats vis-à-vis the 2024 primary season:
What does it say about a major political party if its would-be leaders with presidential aspirations are afraid to challenge the current senescent octogenarian face of the brand?
The time could not be riper for a fresh candidate to step into the fray and launch a campaign. By a two-to-one margin, Democrats want a fresh face to be their standard bearer in the 2024 election. How cowardly are the Democrat would-be leaders of the free world if they won’t take the lead in this political no-brainer? How can it be that no one will take advantage of this incredible moment to challenge the status quo and seize an unparalleled opportunity to blast into the race with massive name recognition?
Athena sees a combination of timidity and dysfunction plaguing potential Democratic challengers to Biden, which is definitely a huge part of their problem.
There’s also the fact that they threw their diverse youth movement out there en masse for the 2020 primaries and this doddering dillhole still won. Worse yet, it came down to the two oldest and whitest guys for the Party of Youth and Diversity in 2020.
To be sure, the Democrats have plenty of people who would like to run for president should Joe Biden decide to take his baggie of Cheerios, hop on Amtrak, and head back to Delaware, which I’m told is still a state. As Athena notes, should Biden take that route, a “chaotic free-for-all” would then break out. The thing is, there is no up-and-coming superstar waiting to emerge from that pack.
It has been noted by many pundits (including this one) on both the right and left that Barack Obama left the Democrats’ cupboard rather bare. His eight years in office weren’t about propping up fellow Democrats, they were about him fluffing himself. There was no new blood to step in when Biden decided not to run in 2016, so they trotted out Granny Maojackets, who they had unceremoniously booted to the curb in 2008.
The potential replacements for Biden at the top of the Democratic ticket are some of the most pathetic mediocrities in the history of American politics. Choosing between the likes of Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, and Stacey Abrams is like being presented with a variety of uncomfortable chronic fungal infections and being forced to pick one.
The Democrats may not be able to manufacture enough magical mail-in ballots in the dead of night to get any of them over the top.
One thing is certain: it definitely won’t be a trade-up if Biden opts out of running again. Waiting in the wings is a gaggle of Democrats who are just as dull-witted as he is, but who can’t blame it on age.
Such is the state of the Democratic Party in 2023 that the guy who wanders around shaking hands with no one and who has for the most part abandoned his native tongue is still the best option.
Don’t look at your calendars. That will only make things more painful.
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