A woman revealed she is searching for answers after her her sister-in-law, who she used to be close with, one day started ‘ignoring’ her and even blocked her from messaging with no explanation.
Taking to parenting platform Mumsnet, the English mother-of-two was baffled as she recounted that her husband’s sibling had even started telling people she was ‘draining’ her husband financially – despite them both working as teachers and splitting all the bills equally.
When her partner messaged his sister to for answers, she denied ever saying that and claimed his wife could not be ‘trusted.’
Now the woman is at a loss as she still doesn’t understand what she has done – and is worried about the family meeting over Christmas.
Many rushed to the comments to give her some advice, with some suggesting that her sister-in-law could be icing her out of the inheritance.
The post read: ‘My SIL [sister-in-law] has made it clear she doesn’t like me. We used to be great friends & the same mutual friends.
‘One day I called in at MIL [mother-in-law] home and my SIL completely ignores me. I asked had a done something but she just blanked me. I texted her, she blocked me.
‘This went on for months. I found this extremely awkward so I just decided to not bother with her too. My MIL pulled me to the side to say I was being extremely rude, I explained that SIL hadn’t spoken to me in a while & I did ask what was wrong.
A woman revealed on Mumsnet that her sister-in-law is trying to push her out of the family, but she doesn’t know why (stock image)
‘MIL said maybe I should call less often with DD’s, [Darling daughter] especially when SIL is there. I asked did she know something I didn’t? She said she didn’t want to get involved.’
The woman went onto claim that her partner spoke to his sister on the phone, only to be told his wife was ‘not to be trusted’ and ‘he could do better’ before he hung up on her in anger.
She continued: ‘Mutual friends recently told me that she said I’m draining my DH financially (we are both teachers & split all the bills), he used to be fun until he married me.
‘Because she blocked me my DH messaged to see what was going on. I apparently made it all up. I reached out to the mutual friends to ask was this all true what they said. I was ignored.
‘Family gatherings will be happening for the run up to Christmas & I don’t want my SIL to get to me. I just wish I knew what I did or what I was supposed to have done. Any suggestions?’
Many people offered advice with some saying she should distance herself as they sound ‘toxic’, while others encouraged her to stand up for herself.
Taking to parenting platform, the English mother-of-two revealed that she used to be great friends with her husband’s sister but one day her in law started ignoring her and even blocked her from messaging with no explanation
One penned: ‘I would distance myself. they sound toxic. SIL is already ghosting you. MIL asked you to reduce visits.
‘Why would you run after these people. Let go and focus on your own little family and friends. I would skip Xmas staff too with them. Been in this situation. The sooner you realise you are better off without them the better.’
Another said: ‘I think Christmas may be your opportunity to get things out in the open, meeting any invitations to spend time with them with a polite “No thank you, it’s clear SIL has an issue with me to which you are all privy, but won’t discuss with me, and l don’t feel comfortable in your company until it’s resolved”.
‘That way you can’t be accused of anything underhand as you’ve told them clearly what the problem is and why they won’t be seeing you.
‘If you’re worried about DH’s relationship with his family, maybe give him the opportunity to go to any family gatherings alone or with the kids. Send the message loud and clear that you’re not prepared to engage with their s**t.’
Someone else said: ‘I agree with others. Learn some assertive behaviour and phrases and don’t be such a pushover. Take MIL at her word and visit less. She’ll soon regret her choice if it means she doesn’t get to see her GC.’
Meanwhile a fourth said: ‘OP she’s actively looking for confrontation with you, so at some point you need to stop yourself from shrivelling up when she does, because that’s the reaction she’s looking for – you’re her victim and you have to put on your big girl pants and challenge her, otherwise it will just escalate until it becomes intolerable.’
However some people suggested that maybe the sister-in-law is trying to ice out the woman because of ‘inheritance’.
Many rushed to the comments to give her some advice, with some suggestions maybe her sister-in-law is icing her out of inheritance
One person said: ‘You haven’t done anything wrong but icing you out now means that dh will be iced out of any inheritance in the future.
‘I think she is thinking long term and the fact you have heard differing reasons as to why you have been ostracised means that none of those applies and the reason is something else entirely.
‘A reason she can not say because it is so patently untrue or just so ridiculous or awful that she would look unhinged.’
Other suggested maybe the sister-in-law got jealous of how much the woman was calling around to her mother-in-law’s house.
One person said: ‘From your first post, it sounds like SIL feels you visit MIL too often, or are there too much when SHE herself is there. Sounds like she wants MIL all to herself.
‘You work FT, I think?, so your visiting slots will be much more limited than hers, but can you try to call round when she is NOT there?
‘I’d suggest just being polite, try your hardest to avoid any passive-aggressive responses (basically turn the other cheek) and don’t react to her with anything other than a neutral response. It will drive her NUTS and she will show herself up sooner or later.
‘Not a great situation for you, hope it resolves or you can at least see SIL less.’
Another agreed: ‘Is it something to do with the kids? Are yours quicker to hit milestones? Better behaved? Whatever it is she doesn’t want to say because it’s ridiculous, probably with jealousy at the root.’
