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We here at the (virtual) office all ran for the hills when Ed ask which one of us was willing to live blog the president’s State of the Union speech.
Everyone was suddenly busy. Very busy. I think Beege took a hammer to her toe or something to generate a convincing excuse. Jazz said something about a date with cyanide if he had to do it, and John reminded us that he had a lot of guns and knew how to use them. Karen? She’s far too nice to make something up, so I think that gall bladder surgery scheduled for tonight at 9 P.M. Eastern has to be genuine.
Yes, I did force Beege to come up with a title for the post. I am not that clever, and you all know that she is the headline master.
Ed has some real excuses. I know it is real because he is the boss and would never lie. So, as a low man on the totem pole, I got the duty.
I am going to kvetch all night about Biden’s stumbles, lies, and glitches. There should be at least one WTF?! moment, and if not I will be disappointed.
Worse, I have to cover Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ response. I have nothing against her, but SOTU responses are simultaneously considered to be a great honor for the speaker and a terrible bore for the rest of us. I have never watched one and left impressed. At least I can’t remember doing so and don’t have the inclination to try.
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Expect Biden to blather on about how great things really are, despite nobody actually buying what he is selling. He will be the master economist, Maverick in Top Gun, Santa Claus, and…actually, he will be Slow Joe.
Biden has to find a way to deal with the elephant in the room, and I don’t mean the loyal opposition. Almost nobody in the country thinks he is remotely competent at his job, even Democrats hope he doesn’t run for president next year, and Americans are in a really foul mood. His defense will be: “Trump.” But even Trump’s polling looks better than Biden’s.
People would be throwing eggs at him, but nobody can afford to except the rich, and they are the ones who still support him.
John has an excellent post from earlier today about how even Biden’s supporters want him off the stage. He is old. Very old. And not that “wow that guy is vital” kind of old. More the “is it time for Grandpa to get live-in help or go to assisted living?” kind of old. My 88-year-old father-in-law is much more vital than Biden, and his leg was shattered in a car accident decades ago. He gets around better than Biden and is much sharper.
As per usual, there are lots of leaks about what Biden will say, but I will spend little time tonight focused on critiquing it. I will try to make fun of him while pointing out the worst lies. I will also try to find funny takes and post them if I do.
Steal content: the way to make it while blogging!
So stick with me tonight and I will try to find an amusing take. It will be my only defense against total boredom.
If I gained 200 lbs over the last 18 months and then lost 30, I could characterize it as “six months of weight of loss” and the “fastest weight loss” in my life. But I’d still weigh 170 pounds more than I did at the start. pic.twitter.com/5mWokpNrQz
— Tom Bevan (@TomBevanRCP) February 7, 2023
