Kieran Culkin won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor at the 2025 Oscars on Sunday night, which was expected, but his acceptance speech for the award was anything but expected.
Last year’s Best Supporting Actor winner Robert Downey Jr. announced Culkin as the winner for his performance in A Real Pain. The first thing Culkin did when he took the stage? Make those ABC censors work for their paychecks, by effusively praising the work of his fellow nominee, Jeremy Strong from The Apprentice.
“Mr. Downey, thank you for handing this to me, it means a lot coming from you,” Culkin said, after he took his award. “He’s right, by the way. Jeremy, you’re amazing in The Apprentice. I love your work, it’s f—ing-” Culkin started to say, before realizing his mistake and cutting himself off.
The ABC broadcast cut a whole line of Culkin’s speech in response, but they weren’t quite fast enough to mask the tell-tale “f-” sound for viewers at home.
Culkin didn’t let that slip-up stop him from delivering the rest of his speech, which included an anecdote about his wife of 12 years, Jazz Charton, with who he has two children. Apparently, Culkin wants to have at least two more children, and he made his desires known to all of the Academy and all of the Oscar viewers at home.
“I have to thank my wife Jazz, one of my favorite people in the world. Please don’t play the music, I have a really quick story about Jazz.” Kulkin began. “About a year ago I was on a stage like this, and I very stupidly, publicly said that I want a third kid from her. She said if I won the [Emmy] award, she would give me the kid. It turns out she said that because she didn’t think I was going to win.”
“After the show we were walking through the parking lot, she’s holding the Emmy, we’re trying to find our car,” Culkin continued. “And she goes, ‘Oh god, I did say that. I guess I owe you a third kid. I turned to her and I said, ‘Really, I want four.’ She turned to me, and I swear to god this happened, and she said, ‘I will give you four when you win an Oscar.’ I held my hand out, she shook it, and I have not brought it up until just now. You remember that, honey? You do? I just have to say to you, Jazz, love of my life, ye of little faith, no pressure. I love you. I’m really sorry I did this again. And let’s get cracking on those kids, what do you say?”
At this point, the broadcast cut to a shot of Charton in the audience, who was laughing and jokingly shooting herself in the head with a finger gun. Girl, we feel for you. Good luck, babe! We hope Culkn will pay for the childcare.
Written, directed, and produced by Jesse Eisenberg, A Real Pain is a light drama that tells the story of two very different cousins (played by Eisenberg and Culkin) who take a tour of Poland in honor of their late grandmother, a Holocaust survivor. The uptight David (Eisenberg) finds it his free-spirited and emotional cousin Benji (Culkin) to be, well, a real pain. But as they navigate their shared generational trauma and Jewish heritage, these two cousins find a way to better understand each other. The film was also nominated for Best Original Screenplay, and is now streaming on Hulu.
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