First Zuck, then the Canuck: two days after Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg made a beeline to Mar-a-Lago and slobbered over Donald Trump’s ring, Canadian doofus Justin Trudeau — with his hat in hand — made a silent sojourn to Trump Town, wearing his extra-poofy kneepads:
FULL CROWD AT THE TRUMP TABLE TONIGHT pic.twitter.com/x9yUVv60c2
— Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) November 30, 2024
It’s a very nice picture, but the real superstar is the little kid behind Trump: that’s a masterclass in photobombing!
— Bobby Stanicky (@BobStanicky) November 30, 2024
Are you ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille?:
— Micah Mendoza (@mendozamicah17) November 30, 2024
Justin Trudeau doesn’t like Trump. Thinks he’s a vain, racist blowhard. And it wasn’t that long ago when Trudeau was mocking Trump behind his back:
I will never forget when Justin Trudeau mocked Trump behind his back.
I hope President Trump concedes nothing to this fraud at their meeting. pic.twitter.com/LmsZx8SUlp
— George (@BehizyTweets) November 29, 2024
On October 20, 2025 (the same day as Kamala Harris’s birthday, oddly enough), Canadian federal elections will take place. Right now, Trudeau is truly in a world of trouble: 57% of Canadians want him off the ballot. About two-thirds disapprove of his job performance. Earlier this week, Time Magazine ran a story, “How Canada Soured on Justin Trudeau.”
Trudeau desperately needs a lifeline. Otherwise, his (Canadian) goose is cooked. He’s actually running eerily similar to Joe Biden’s approval ratings — and that didn’t work out too well for Biden. Without a breakthrough policy deal, Trudeau will not survive.
And only one man can help him: Donald Trump.
A curious thing happened during Trump’s four-year hiatus from the White House: his legend grew. It grew and grew, swelling to Trumpian proportions. Because his enemies so endlessly hyped him up as a uniquely existential threat — “He’s a monster! He’s literally Hitler! He’s a fascist! It’s the end of America! Democracy dies in darkness!” — he has grown in stature in the minds of world leaders.
The scary Orange Man is back! OMG, he really is crazy enough to slap us with tariffs!
Canadians tend to have a massive, crippling inferiority complex: they think about us a whole lot, but we don’t think about them at all. (And when we do, it’s usually to make fun of their silly accent: “Whatcha talkin’ aboot, eh?!”) All their hottest babes move here and become Americans anyway. Frankly, Canada shouldn’t even be classified as a country: It’s more like America’s ice chest — that freezer in the garage where we keep our popsicles.
Canada is where America stores its Zamboni machines during the off-season.
And now we stand before international crossroads. The juxtaposition of a downtrodden, flailing Justin Trudeau — desperate to strike a deal that saves his (Canadian) bacon — with an ascending, confident Donald Trump holding court at Mar-a-Lago was striking.
It was also revealing.
Afterwards, Trump probably had to send his pants to the cleaners to remove Trudeau’s ChapStick stains from his backside. After all, it was a historic night of international diplomacy: the humbling of Trudeau, his “bended knee” apology tour, and Canada promising to be a good, loyal client state.
Best of all, one little kid got to watch the whole thing:
— Micah Mendoza (@mendozamicah17) November 30, 2024
