I was laid off from my previous job in December. When I started looking for a new job, at the age of 30, I wanted to make sure it would be one where I felt like I could contribute a lot. I found a posting on LinkedIn for a vice president of human resources role, which I understand is ironic, given what happened next.
I looked at the job description and knew it was in line with what I had done previously. I researched the company and their core values, which – and again this is ironic – I liked. When I applied, the recruiter contacted me and said my background aligned with what they wanted too.
The interview was by video. I wore a black blazer and a collared shirt, both of which were ironed. I put on small gold earrings. I’d blow-dried my hair and had beige-coloured nails. Everything, in other words, was in line with proper professional attire.
But I didn’t wear make-up.
I didn’t think that was a big deal – yet apparently it was to her.
Melissa Weaver on a Zoom call without make-up on, which she says didn’t impress a prospective employer
I thought the interview went really well. I had good answers to questions. Having a recruitment background, I know how to have conversations with people. It was supposed to last 30 minutes, but it went closer to 40. I was really optimistic when the call ended – but a couple of days after the interview, I got an email from the recruiter saying that I was in line with what they wanted in terms of experience, and that my values aligned with theirs, but that they wouldn’t be moving forward with my application.
Why not? I decided to ask for feedback.
She wrote back and said she was concerned that I didn’t put enough effort into my appearance.
My reaction was shock. Firstly, that someone would write that in an email. But more, that in 2024, this is still actually happening. I had so much enthusiasm about the company, and I knew I was good for the role. I can only assume she mentioned the make-up as a concern because there was nothing else to rule me out. So, did that mean my lack of make-up made me somehow less qualified or enthusiastic about the job? That was just baffling to me.
I don’t tend to wear that much make-up for various reasons. One, make-up is expensive. There’s a reason cosmetics is a billion-pound industry. It’s also just not something I enjoy doing. I have a lot of friends who are happy to spend 45 minutes to an hour on their make-up. It’s their zen time, and good for them, but I’d rather invest in my skincare. My dermatologist and I are on a first-name basis.
In the comments for a TikTok I made about the experience, people said things like: ‘I actually heard that I’ve worn too much make-up in my interview.’ Or, ‘I’m not supposed to wear red lipstick because it’s too much of a power move.’ One woman said she got more assignments at work when she started wearing make-up. For someone else, it was losing weight. Reading that — in 2024 — our appearance somehow correlates to our ability to do our jobs is very disheartening.
A lot of people use make-up to enhance their features. But the idea that it’s a requirement is kind of insane.
I was dressed up for the interview. Dressing nicely shows that you have enthusiasm for the job and take it seriously. That applies to both men and women. In recruitment, I never judged someone if they wore make-up or if a man had long hair, as long as it was well-kept. I did have someone turn up to a video interview in pyjamas once. In that case, I was like, ‘I’m not really sure about this for a senior-level position.’
The fact is, make-up just applies to women. It’s not expected that men wear foundation or know how to contour or whatever.
It might have been more shocking had the comment come from a man because, having worked in recruitment, I never had a male colleague comment about a woman’s make-up. Maybe, for women, it’s a matter of them wearing it themselves so they would expect it from another woman.
I don’t think this experience is necessarily going to change my approach to a job search because I want to be part of a company that has a supportive culture and that doesn’t have the sort of expectations of women having to wear make-up. Making sure that companies have an inclusive culture is incredibly important to me.
I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to judge an entire company based on one person, though recruiters are typically the face of the company — or the first face you see. So that’s something to be mindful of. I don’t think I could learn all I want to know about a company’s culture based on the first person that I meet with or even the first few people. That’s why I appreciate a hiring process with multiple interviews with different people. As draining as some people can find that, I appreciate it because you do get a feel for a lot of different people in the company.
Many people agreed with Melissa’s view after she posted about her experience on TikTok
Others had received similar reactions, including one which suggested the interviewee lose weight
Something I’ve always loved about being an HR is that it is a people-facing role. That’s why I want to find an employer with an inclusive culture and where I can contribute to that. This is about women supporting women and men supporting women as well. It’s given me an extra boost in terms of knowing what I’m passionate about, which I want to be sure I can bring to a company.
I didn’t write back to the recruiter because I didn’t think it would make a difference. Several people encouraged me to forward her email to the company’s head of HR. I don’t know if I will. You also worry about being blackballed.
HR can be taxing work, but at the end of the day, I love it. I love working with people. And so I know that it’s the lane that I want to stay in.
I didn’t make the TikTok to bash the company or anything like that. I never wanted it to be a crusade. I just wanted people’s opinions, and if it generates a conversation, then I’m happy about that. Many of the comments I’ve received have been supportive and have called out a double standard. The fact that so many of them were encouraging made me feel positive and reassured that just because one recruiter felt that way, it’s not the majority opinion.
As originally published in Business Insider.
