Heard the one about the $29 hot dog?
Big eaters in the Big Apple have become accustomed to paying more for almost everything, but the wildly priced wiener at Alex Stupak’s lively new Mischa at the Citicorp Center is on another level.
Mischa’s mighty mongrel is easily the city’s top-priced, restaurant menu tube steak, aside from occasional $2,000 stunts with truffles and foie gras.
This dog howls for media attention, particularly at a time when the cost of going out — or eating, in general — is through the roof.
But unlike, say, the widely ridiculed, extremely meh $29 ham-and-cheese sandwich at Eli Zabar’s E.A.T., Stupak’s bit of inflationary-era excess, the cheapest main course on a funky, modern-American menu, tastes great.
The thing’s humongous, too — at eight ounces and nine inches long, think of it more as an elongated restaurant burger, one that can almost feed two. You’ll use a knife and fork and not feel silly.
Nathan’s Famous it ain’t — made in-house, the dry-aged brisket-and-pork hybrid is tucked inside a chewy, natural hog casing.
It’s warmed in beef fat, browned on a flat-top griddle and placed in a potato bun, crusted with instant mashed potato flakes for texture.
The buttery, mineral-rich flavor reminded me of some of Schaller & Weber’s milder German-style sausages.
But wait, there’s more: the fabulous frank comes with a ramekin of punchy, dry-aged brisket chili, tasty enough to spoon on its own and five (count ‘em, five) condiments on the side.
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Plain-old yellow mustard was best, but pungent and smoky bacon-habanero chili flakes and fiery kimchi lent the dog interesting, off-the-highway dimensions. Bland pimento cheese and too-common cucumber relish did not.
Mischa, located a few steps up from the tower’s atrium food hall called the Hugh, is a wild detour for Stupak, creator of the four-location, neo-Mexican Empellon empire.
Unlike at the raucous, gaily-colored Empellons, Mischa’s 150 seats roll through a restrained and cozy main room with giant, horseshoe-shaped green booths that are fun to sit at but a pain to climb out of, and an airy, neutral-tone front lounge and bar.
The hot dog’s the early star of a clever menu inspired by Stupak’s Italian and Ukrainian ancestry, tinted with Asian and Eastern European influences.
It’s sometimes too clever.
Cocktails sport inscrutable, goofy names like potent “Strange Things at the Circle K,” an elixir of Royal Standard and Clairin rums, Empirical-label sorghum, calamansi fruit and lime.
“Seven Vegetables,” listed as a salad, is no salad at all, but a mezze-like array of veggies served in tiny cups.
We should have been told the salad was “deconstructed” when ordering, rather than when it comes to the table, where a server — too late! — was only too happy to point out the obvious.
Most other dishes I tried hit the spot — especially perfectly turned-out steamed and spiced halibut with Asafoetida yogurt ($45). Tahini-rich black hummus served with garlic twists was addictive, chilled jumbo shrimp with chili-crab cocktail sauce scrumptious.
But the dog’s the thing. Bring a sense of humor, a mastiff’s appetite, and money.
