Dear Vanessa,
My only daughter is in her mid-20s and engaged to a man who doesn’t work and seems to live off her. He asks questions about the value of our family home and gives the impression he’s looking for handouts or shortcuts in life.
We’ve worked hard to build up our savings and pay off our house, and we plan to leave everything to her as our only child. But now we’re worried about how to protect her – and our assets – if this marriage doesn’t work out. She won’t hear a word against him and accuses us of being negative. What can we do?
Shirley.
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Dear Shirley,
It’s understandable that you’re worried – not just about your daughter’s well-being but also about the future of your family’s hard-earned legacy. You’re navigating a delicate balance between protecting her and maintaining a supportive relationship.
To safeguard your assets, consider putting a trust in your will. This ensures that the house and savings you leave to your daughter will remain protected. A trust can allow her to benefit from the inheritance while keeping those assets legally separate from her marriage. Framing this as part of regular estate planning rather than a reaction to her fiancé may help her see it positively.
Leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov (above)
When supporting your daughter, focus on fostering open communication without directly criticising her partner. Questions like these can gently prompt her to reflect on their future:
• ‘What kind of work does he want to do?’
• ‘How are you planning to manage your financial goals as a team?’
• ‘What’s your plan if unexpected expenses come up?’
These kinds of questions show care and concern while encouraging her to think critically.
It may also help to encourage your daughter to seek financial advice. This isn’t about questioning her choices but empowering her to make informed decisions as she enters this new phase. If she’s open to it, you can recommend my free service to connect with a financial adviser.
Finally, focus on preserving your relationship with your daughter. If things don’t work out as she hopes, she’ll need your love and support. By being patient and supportive, you’ll keep the door open for her to turn to you if needed.
You’re taking all the right steps to protect both her and your assets. By putting practical measures in place and fostering a supportive relationship, you’re laying the groundwork for her to thrive, no matter what the future holds.
Have a question about family, money, or big life decisions? Send it in! The best question of the week will win a copy of my book, The Breakfast Club for 40-Somethings. We’ll send it straight to you.
Send your questions to Vanessa Stoykov at flourishingafter50@dailymail.com.au
