When Reneé Rapp snagged the role of Leighton in “Sex Lives of College Girls,” she was over the moon. The character was initially a closeted lesbian before finding acceptance, which she thought was the perfect fit for her. In many ways, it was, but it didn’t take long until she discovered that what seemed like an easy acting gig would be a challenge, especially since portraying Leighton meant delving into her own past struggles.
“I thought it would be the thing I knew because I came out when I was pretty young,” she told Vulture. “But that part of Leighton, which I thought would be what I knew, ended up being the most difficult. It was like vomiting out my deepest, darkest fears about my own internalized homophobia. It made for some very emotional days.”
Still, Rapp wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Like her character, she underwent a significant transformation, gaining more confidence and shedding long-held inhibitions. “Truly, though, so much of Leighton is me, and so much of Leighton has helped me understand myself,” the “Too Well” singer shared with Vogue. “I don’t think that I had an amazing relationship to my queerness, but through playing Leighton, I feel like I’m being much more openly queer, because it is a public part of who I am, and I’m very proud of that. I definitely realized that I have a lot of little things I need to f***ing get over; like, I have a lot of internalized homophobia.”
