Darryl Strawberry wasn’t sure if this day would come.
Recently, he wasn’t sure if any more days would come.
But he entered immortality Saturday as the Mets retired his No.18 before their clash against the Diamondbacks at Citi Field.
“It means more than ever to be able to be here and to represent this organization for retiring my number,” Strawberry said. “… I came close to losing my life. I’m sitting here today, it’s a gift from the Lord. I don’t take it for granted. I came very close. I almost was dead.”
Strawberry suffered a “massive” heart attack in mid-March, right before his 62nd birthday.
“I can just remember rolling into surgery and thinking to myself, ‘God, this is in your hands,’ ” Strawberry said. “There’s nothing I can do. If you want me here, you’ll keep me alive. If you don’t want me here, you’ll take me to you.”
He’s certainly still here, and full of defiant, and thankful, spirit.
Strawberry has since recovered, and though he admitted the medication he now needs to take for his heart prevents him from feeling completely normal, he feels good physically and mentally.
For much of his career — and life — that wasn’t the case.
Though he made sure to mix in ample jokes, Strawberry was emotional when speaking about his well-documented, self-destructive personal demons regarding drug and alcohol abuse and other off-the-field mishaps.
“The way I did things, it was just the way it was for me because of my brokenness on the inside,” Strawberry said. “I came from a dysfunctional home, my father was a raging alcoholic, he said I would never amount to anything. And I felt like that when I played. The only thing that brought peace to me was being on the field. I was angry on the inside.”
But Strawberry doesn’t regret any of that stuff, nor would he do any of it differently if he could go back in time. He believes it’s built him into who he is today.
There’s just one thing he wishes he could change.
And it haunts him to this day.
“I wish I would’ve never left this organization,” Strawberry said. “That is the biggest regret I will have for the rest of my life. … My eight seasons here were the greatest seasons of my career. And I will always be a Met. No matter how anyone will look at it or how anyone wants to talk about it, I’m a Met.”
Strawberry thanked his wife, Tracy, for keeping him “straight” and saving his life during his heart attack.
He thanked Gary Carter and Mookie Wilson for being examples of discipline and maturity on an otherwise unruly team.
He thanked Eric Davis, his childhood-friend-turned-teammate, for helping him through his first years in the league.
Then there was Doc Gooden, for whom Strawberry holds special gratitude.
For two players whose careers and personal battles were so intertwined, it’s fitting their jerseys have been retired just over a month apart.
“It inspires me. I know he’s a guy I can call,” Gooden said. “He’s not gonna judge me. He can relate to the things I struggle with.”
A plethora of Strawberry’s teammates, particularly from the 1986 World Series team, were in attendance.
They laughed as Strawberry reminisced about their favorite moments, clapped for Strawberry’s triumphs and shared long hugs. It’s obvious how close the group is, which Strawberry cherishes.
“We were one big family,” Strawberry said. “And that’s what I loved about it. Baseball, if you’re not a family and you’re not together, you’re not gonna have success.”
Mets owner Steve Cohen, a lifelong fan of the team, was young during that run and he and Strawberry embraced prior to the game.
Since taking over as owner, Cohen has made it a mission for the Mets to reconnect with many of the team’s legends whose relationships with the organization had distanced.
“You take those moments for granted,” Cohen said. “You have these great teams, we think they’re gonna win every year. Winning is hard, as we know. You can hear how much he appreciates these moments because it’s hard to repeat them.”
Chants of “Daaaaaaryl, Daaaaaaaaryl,” echoed around Citi Field as Strawberry greeted the fans on the field.
Once a Met, always a Met. And now, forever a Met.
Nobody will wear his No. 18 jersey again.
“Little did I know that I would come to the greatest place to play baseball,” Strawberry told the fans. “Little did I know I would play in front of the greatest fans, forever.”
