Where would we be without social media? Why, if we didn’t have it, we would have to rely on an asteroid, nuclear war, a space virus, an alien invasion, or a revolution by chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas to bring down mankind. But as it is, we have social media, so we’ve got the end of the world pretty well in hand.
In case you haven’t heard, there was a riot today in New York City. Big deal, you say. It’s summer. It’s riot season. But this riot was not over race, abortion, trans rights, or some other hot-button issue that demands our slack-jawed, glassy-eyed attention from time to time. No, nothing so noble. Nothing so dramatic. This riot was over a social media giveaway.
Some under-employed jackanape who is a Twitch gamer/influencer named Kai Cenat announced that he/she/zim/zer/whatever would be doing a giveaway of PlayStation 5s, microphones, computers, and gaming accessories. You can witness the results below.
🚨#BREAKING: Twitch streamer Influencer Giveaway Sparks a massive Riot in Union Square park
Right now, a huge riot is currently happening at Union Square Park in Manhattan, New York. Hundreds of young teens and adults have gathered after a Twitch live… pic.twitter.com/6WynfWFlDB
— R A W S A L E R T S (@rawsalerts) August 4, 2023
Yay, America! Thank you, internet!
Good grief. At least Rome had chariot races and gladiatorial contests before it fell. And the statues were better, too.
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Mr. Cenat was supposed to demonstrate his largesse on Friday at 3:30 p.m. ET at Union Square Park. The New York Post notes that by 4 p.m., the crowd of approximately 1,000 people began throwing bottles, rocks, and eggs, tossing traffic cones around, and of course, shouting, “F**k the police!” Because reasons. Apparently, the NYPD is to blame that no one got a PlayStation or some computer crap. Naturally, Cenat was whisked away to a precinct house for his own safety. Whether or not he got to hand out a PS5 is yet to be determined. As of this writing, authorities were still debating charging Cenat with inciting a riot.
From The Post:
Aerial footage showed the massive crowd flooding the streets, with some teens using barricades to stop the cops. They also tossed bottles, eggs and construction cones while screaming: “F–k the PD” and “suck my d–k.”
Two teenagers also allegedly threw garbage cans at police officers on East 10th Street off Broadway.
The police had to scramble its riot squad to get things under control, and cops described it as a “full-on riot.” By 6 p.m., things were under control, but barricades were still in place and cops were piling up the debris.
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All of this, because people wanted free gaming gear. This wasn’t even an issue of social justice. No one had been wronged or arrested. No one had been profiled. But there was a riot over gaming accessories. This is what we have been reduced to. Centuries from now, some archeologist will be sifting through the detritus of America and come upon this story. I suspect their reaction will be something akin to this:
