Buying a bra at any age can be awkward for a woman, but when you’re young and still fairly new at these things, it’s typically a mix of excitement and embarrassment. Suddenly, your mom and some strange but well-meaning lady at a department store are awfully interested in a body part that you’re still learning how to embrace. At least, that’s what it was like when I was young. I assume much hasn’t changed since the 1990s.
And that’s why my heart ached for this kid whom I’m about to tell you about. She’s a 14-year-old who was shopping for a bra with her mom at the British department store Marks & Spencer recently.
As they shopped, an employee approached to ask if they needed help. The problem? This employee was a 6’2″ biological male who believes he is a woman. His maleness was obvious, as the young girl is said to have recoiled at the sight of this guy towering over her in the underwear and lingerie section at this M&S store. Her mother said they were both horrified by such a thing, politely declined the employee’s help, and immediately left the store.
I can’t say that I blame them. Some places are sacred. I don’t want a man helping me buy bras at my current age, much less when I was 14. The girl’s mother is furious and rightfully so. Can you imagine if her daughter had gone in alone to do her shopping?
A customer service agent apologized to the family, saying they were “truly sorry” and “deeply regret the distress your daughter felt during her visit to our store.” They also said they took the concerns seriously and would be happy to arrange a second visit to the store, in which a female employee would gladly assist the girl with her shopping needs.
A spokesperson for the company also said that “We want our stores to be inclusive and welcoming places for our colleagues and customers,” adding, “We have written to this customer and explained that our colleagues typically work across all departments in our stores and customers can always ask to speak to the colleague they feel most comfortable with.”
In other words, this will happen again.
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The store also made it clear that this employee does not help with actual bra fittings, but the girl’s mother says that store policy should insist that he’s not allowed to work in that section at all anymore. The story has gained so much traction that even author and women’s rights activist J.K. Rowling has spoken out about it, calling for people to boycott M&S if they do not change their ways.
It’s time for women to vote with their wallets. If stores like M&S continue to flout the Supreme Court ruling on women-only spaces, prioritising the wishes of men who want to undress near, or help fit bras on teenage girls, a boycott seems appropriate.https://t.co/9RsUetLEVA
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 4, 2025
The Supreme Court ruling that Rowling is referring to is one from this past spring that declares that the definition of woman is based on her biological sex, and that biological men can’t simply say they’re transgender and bombard a female-only space.
The Telegraph spoke to Fiona McAnena, director of campaigns for the human rights charity Sex Matters, and she had plenty to say on the matter.
This is what happens when a business centres the feelings of men who identify as women, even at the expense of their own customers. It is entirely inappropriate for a man to approach a teenage girl in a lingerie department.
Being dressed in women’s clothes doesn’t change that. It’s extraordinary that a man would regard himself as entitled to do such a thing; most men know how unwelcome that would be.
M&S needs to rethink its priorities and remember that women and girls have rights too, and that this man should not be permitted to hang around in the women’s underwear department as a matter of common decency.
Amen to that. It’s a sad world when a girl can’t even go buy underwear without a man forcing himself into the situation, and sadly, these stories are becoming more and more common.
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