Are you still fighting with your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or family member? They are constantly apologizing for their behavior. But nothing ever changes. Who hates manipulative excuses? I mean an apology without change is manipulation and that’s clear.
This apology is a form of manipulation because it does not change the behavior that caused the harm. It’s a way to make the person who has been harmed feel better without actually doing anything to fix the problem.
I have a list of reasons why when someone apologizes but keeps doing it, it’s actually manipulation. They never even intended to change anything. At the end of the day, all they want is for you to stay under their influence.
9 Ways An Apology Without Change Is Manipulation
Here’s why a manipulative apology is the same as manipulation:
1. You are guilty of apologizing
That’s a sure bully tactic! His apology is really just a sentence where he blames you for everything. For example, they might say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
This type of apology is manipulative because it shifts the blame onto you instead of them taking responsibility for their actions. Remember, regardless of the person: An apology without change is manipulation!
2. Leave me no excuse
This is their last resort. One such person has low self-esteem and cannot live his life without you. They will say sorry and try to make you feel guilty for wanting to leave them in the first place. They will use any means necessary to keep you in the relationship.
This type of apology is often found in romantic relationships, but can also be seen in friendships and other types of relationships. This type of apology can be very difficult for the victim to handle because it can make them feel even worse.
3. I can’t live without your apology
They say sorry and mean it, but then say you should stay with them. They may feel that you owe them for the hurt or pain you have caused. In reality, this person will never change.
Warning: They are codependent! Apologies without change are a way for the manipulator to maintain control over the partner and make sure they are not alone.
4. Only you apologize
They try to blame you for forgiving them. They will do anything to earn your forgiveness, but in the end they will continue to do what they have been doing. This type of excuse isn’t genuine – it’s just a way to get what they want.
This is when someone says they will do something for you, but only for you. This is obviously not in their best interest. They keep pointing fingers and pushing your boundaries. That’s not an excuse. It’s just manipulation.
5. An eye for an eye apology
One of my favorite gaslighting phrases is things like, “I’m sorry if you do this and that.” It is a manipulative apology where a person apologizes to get something from the other person.
For example, a person may apologize to a friend who was hurt by their actions to prevent them from confronting them about what happened. They have no intention of making things better!
6. You apologize too
Like the above type of apology, this one goes like this: “I’ll apologize if you apologize.” What should you apologize for? For having feelings and acting on them? Never apologize for these requests. Yes, those are pleas, not excuses.
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This type of apology can be considered manipulative because it makes the other person feel sorry for the person making the apology, and this guilt can be used to get what they want from them.
7. I am the victim here, sorry
It is not an apology offered with the intention of seeking forgiveness or making amends. Instead, it is a form of manipulation where the perpetrator tries to shift the blame onto themselves and away from the victim.
This type of manipulative apology often includes phrases like, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you feel so attacked.” This person may also offer an explanation for their behavior rather than taking responsibility for what they did. It’s somehow your fault too.
8. Shut up I’m sorry
These excuses without behavior change have one goal: To get you and them to end the discussion. They offer no will to change or actually regret. They just want you to shut up.
It is manipulation because they have no intention of changing their behavior and because they are manipulating you to get what you want. Follow: https://mymorningtea.in/
9. A sarcastic apology
This is not a sincere apology. A manipulative apology can be used to manipulate the other person into feeling sorry for them or to do something for them.
The superficial person who apologizes like this is simply insincere. Who half-heartedly apologizes for not feeling any real remorse?
Changed behavior is the best excuse
feel!”
• “I’m so sorry you caught me cheating. If you were hotter, I wouldn’t do it.”
A self-serving apology is an attempt to manipulate someone into feeling sorry for you and giving you something you want.
It is often used when someone has done something wrong or wrong and wants to avoid punishment or blame. Once you hear any of these excuses, it’s time to walk away or set boundaries and focus on your self-worth!
How to respond to a manipulative apology
Don’t just quote “I’m sorry”
The first step in the apology process is admitting you did something wrong. The second step is to take responsibility for your actions and apologize for them. The third step is to make a commitment not to do it again.
If you are not willing to take these three steps, then the apology is pointless. Remember that an apology without change is manipulation!
