Truth be told, if you don’t pay attention to these topics before entering a relationship, it will surely be doomed before it even begins.
We know that honesty and open communication is the key to any successful and healthy relationship. But what are the real topics and questions where you should be 100% honest?
First, don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions, because if you don’t, the whole course of your relationship can change, unfortunately, in a bad way.
Who knows, maybe this conversation could be the start of something beautiful. So why not go for it?
1. What is your opinion on saving vs. spending money?
You will be surprised, but money is the second leading cause of divorce. Why? Because many people are uncomfortable talking about money as if it’s some kind of taboo subject.
If you don’t discuss your views on money early on, you won’t find out what you don’t agree with until it’s too late.
So talk about equal access to financial decisions regardless of who makes more money. If financial decision-making power is not equal, it will create feelings of resentment or inadequacy.
Talk about short-term and long-term financial goals and make sure they are aligned as well. Are they planning to buy a house? How are they planning for retirement and how are they saving for it? Do they have any debt?
It might be asking too much for this kind of information, but it’s definitely an important aspect of a relationship.
2. How have you changed over the past few years?
Confidence is another important part ofyour relationship. Asking your potential partner how they’ve changed over the past few years says a lot about them.
A partner who is aware of his growth and feelings is a partner with whom you will have a healthy relationship.
Change is constant and those who realize their mistakes are the only ones who can one day become a better version of themselves.
So asking about their past, their flaws and their growth will give you a clear picture of what you can expect from them as a partner.
3. What counts as cheating?
Seeing porn? Do you like other people’s posts on Instagram? Are you commenting on girl’s TikTok? Are you talking to your ex?
What is considered cheating? And how will it affect your relationship?
It’s not about YOU feeling like you’re cheating. It’s about how your PARTNER feels about what you do with others. This is why defining what you consider cheating is one of the key parts before entering a relationship.
Is it just a physical act? An emotional act? Or both?
Everyone has their own definition of what counts as cheating. Once you’re done with this conversation, you should be on the same page about what’s considered cheating and what’s not.
If it isn’t, never continue the relationship because it might end sooner than you think.
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4. Are there any secrets we should keep to ourselves?
Some might say that honesty is the best policy. It brings you closer and helps you connect on a deeper emotional level.
Others will say that some secrets should never be revealed. So how can you know the right thing to do?
In reality, again, this is a decision you have to make as a couple. Revealing your secrets can help you achieve greater intimacy, but it can also create feelings of constant fear and mistrust.
So what is the right thing to do? Communicate openly! Define your boundaries: should there be any and how far should they go? Are you allowed to keep secrets from your partner that involve your parents or friends?
If you don’t talk about these things with your partner, secrets can destroy any relationship you start.
5. Are your expectations of me or the relationship changing?
Dating is one thing, but being in a committed, long-term relationship is another. So how does your relationship change after you become exclusive?
Do you hang out more? Are you each other’s primary emotional support? Are you each other’s emergency contact?
The official start brings many of these questions. Some people like the way things are at the negotiation stage, while others expect a more serious approach once you’re official.
And both of those options are fine as long as you’re on the same page. But how can you know if you don’t discuss it, right?
6. What are your long-term goals?
Love is not enough. For a long-term committed healthy relationship to fully function, love is not enough.
All our lives we’ve been told that love is all you need and it’s not true. VALUES, GOALS AND LIFESTYLE. These are the things besides love that you need.
@dashofraph
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Sex. One of the most important parts of a relationship. When it’s good, it’s only 20% of the relationship. When the sex is good, you don’t care about it so much. you don’t think about it.
But when the sex is bad, it can take 80% because it has a lot to do with your feelings and your real desire to be with the person.
Sexual preferences and experiences are not decisive, but they are important. When you love someone, you selflessly conform to their preferences, but only as far as your comfort zone allows.
But what to do if you have completely different preferences? And for one reason or another, you just can’t adapt to them? Will love fade? An emotional connection? Probably yes.
So talk about sex.
Don’t forget
I’ve heard many stories of people ending relationships of several years because they didn’t talk about the right things when they needed to, and I’m sure you don’t want to be one of those couples.
So what is the right thing to do? SPEAK! Talk about important things. Sex, finances, self-awareness… These are all things that will become problems later on if you haven’t discussed them in the beginning.
But asking these questions is not enough. Don’t forget to bring honesty with you! Follow:
