We’re going to include a few examples in our first entry because they all illustrate the exact same point: People word things no good remember. This ought to make sense because, honestly: Did our ancestors evolve to scrutinize text, or did they evolve to spot a texture on the forest floor that doesn’t quite fit and is a snake that will kill you if you step on it? For those who guessed the latter: Congratulations. You’ve accepted your own inescapable atavism.
For everyone else convinced that they ate Jiffy Peanut Butter growing up: No, you’re just another sad victim of your own delusional brain. As Parade says, there was no such thing as smooth or chunky Jiffy Peanut Butter. You’re thinking of Jiffy Lube, or Skippy Peanut Butter, or being back in a jiffy … or is it a jif? In the case of the peanut butter, it’s most definitely Jif.
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As for that semi-edible, rubbery lunchmeat that your mom force fed you? Go ahead and sing along: “My balogny — balogna? baloney? — has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name, it’s” … what? If you said M-A-Y-E-R — like the singer — you’re correct. Although, some folks swear it’s M-E-Y-E-R.
For the last entry on this list we turn to a stick-like, wafery snack: Kit-Kat. Or was it Kit Kat? KitKat? Is was actually the last choice, with no hyphen and no space. Sorry, brain: You lose again.
