‘It’s my nature to be dominant’: Therapist allegedly choked and threatened to kill patient he was having affair with after she broke up with him

Thaddeus Tolbert appears inset against an image of an apartment where an attack allegedly occurred

Inset: Thaddeus Tolbert (Conversations with Friends/YouTube). Background: An apartment complex in Houston where Tolbert allegedly attacked his ex-girlfriend (Google Maps).

A Houston therapist was allegedly having an extramarital affair with one of his patients and became exceedingly violent with rage when she broke up with him, law enforcement in the Lone Star State say.

Thaddeus Tolbert, 31, stands accused of one count each of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and burglary of a habitation, according to criminal complaint filed in Harris County.

Jhyah Scales, 29, first came to know the man when he was her child’s therapist beginning in October 2023. Their relationship would develop, still along professional lines, in February 2024 when she began to see Tolbert for her own psychological purposes as well.

The ethical road, however, was allegedly worn out soon enough. She “started to see him outside of that, sexually, in March of 2024,” according to the complaint. But their romance did not last long. Near the end of the very next month, Scales learned her doctor turned lover was married and had children of his own, authorities say.

On April 29, Scales was in Tolbert’s office and “she ended the relationship” upon learning about his family, which led to “arguing about their relationship,” according to the complaint.

“Defendant took his gun out from his waist and placed it on his table before he pinned her to the wall,” the complaint reads. “Defendant began to scream at her saying that she could not leave him.”

The alleged attack only stopped, according to the complaint, when someone knocked on the door. Then, Scales took the opportunity to leave and went to go pick her daughter up from school.

When the woman arrived back home, she found the therapist waiting for her, idling in his vehicle outside, the complaint says.

Scales took precautions by giving her daughter to a neighbor before heading inside her own apartment. Then, when Tolbert entered without a key, she told him to leave. Instead, he began choking her, kissing her, and “telling her that he loved her and that they would die before he let her walk away from him,” according to the complaint.

Tolbert allegedly left the woman’s apartment and returned again — twice that same day.

First, he left because his vehicle was blocking the road and people were honking. Then, he allegedly came back in, pushing his way through the back door but left when he got a phone call.

While the therapist was gone the second time, Scales texted him to say that she would be contacting his wife to tell him about everything that transpired between them, “and what he did to her,” according to the complaint. Tolbert allegedly returned within an hour or so.

After allegedly forcing his way inside for the third time, a scramble ensued wherein Tolbert alternately apologized to, professed his love for, and choked the woman again, according to the complaint.

“Complainant stated that she could not breath[e] and everything became hot, while seeing red and blue spots,” the complaint reads.

The last alleged attack was focused on Scales’ cellphones.

Tolbert “demanded her to unlock her phones, and to delete everything,” the complaint says. As the two allegedly scrambled over control of the phones — which Scales had thrown into the middle of her couch — Tolbert allegedly pulled out his gun at least twice. One time, the defendant allegedly hit Scales in the chin with the firearm.

Scales fought back, she told law enforcement — using her hands to apply the little pressure she could to the man’s gun in order to keep it from being drawn, and grabbing at his arm and face to survive.

At one point, the woman called one of her cousins using the speaker phone function. Various of Tolbert’s “threats to kill everyone” were overheard, prompting the incident to stop, according to the complaint. The therapist then allegedly took on a blank look and “stared” at his former lover, put his gun away, and, finally, left.

Scales later recounted some of Tolbert’s alleged exhortations as the violence went on: “I’m going to kill you … I’ll kill us both … why are you doing this … I love you too much.”

On May 1, the woman made her first report of the incident to the Houston Police Department. An intake officer noted she had a black left eye and bruises on both of her upper arms in the triceps area.

During an ensuing investigation, the alleged victim’s neighbor recalled taking Scales’ daughter that day and seeing a man matching Tolbert’s description. The woman’s cousin, for his part, recalled an argument on speaker phone but said he could not understand what was being said. When Tolbert himself was questioned, he admitted to being in both locations with Scales on the day in question.

The defendant “denied any physical altercation” with Scales, according to the Houston Police Department.

In May 2023, Tolbert appeared on a podcast to discuss mental health concepts like intergenerational trauma and masculinity.

“I’ve told every Black mother that I have encountered that has a son: It’s definitely difficult to express, as a boy — as a young man — my feelings to a woman, because, like, in my nature, it’s my nature to be dominant, it’s in my nature to be a man or whatnot,” the therapist told the podcast host. “And as we’ve been taught, and unfortunately, we pass these things on genetically. Because we’ve learned, the previous generation’s learned from the previous generations that this is what a man is supposed to do. This is how a man exudes his manhood.”

On Wednesday, a judge set bail at $50,000 for each count against the defendant, which he subsequently made, court records show.

Tolbert is next slated to appear in court for his arraignment on Aug. 12.

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‘It’s my nature to be dominant’: Therapist allegedly choked and threatened to kill patient he was having affair with after she broke up with him

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‘It’s my nature to be dominant’: Therapist allegedly choked and threatened to kill patient he was having affair with after she broke up with him

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