CONPLAN 8888: The Pentagon's Zombie Apocalypse Plan Explained

Now that logistical details are out of the way, we can get down to the good stuff: pew-pewing zombies. Relatedly: Has anyone in the crowd ever played “Left 4 Dead 2”? Classic four-person, co-op, squad-based zombie-shooting action? The game has a whole bunch of memorable enemy types like infected (standard), boomers (dudes that blow up), spitters (dudes who spit, obviously), smokers (dudes with long tongues). Yeah, that’s basically CONPLAN 8888.

On page 6 of CONPLAN 8888, we’ve got the “Zombie Threat Summary” that lists all zombie types soldiers might be expected to head-shoot. We’ve got standard “Pathogenic Zombies” formed from biological contagions, “Radiation Zombies” formed from “a extreme dosage [sic]” of radiation like The Hulk, “Weaponized Zombies” created to be biological weapons, and “Symbiant-Induced Zombies,” i.e., zombies controlled by an invasive creature like the creature from 1982’s “The Thing” or the Dax symbiont from “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.”

Speaking of extraterrestrials, they’re on the list, too: “Space Zombies,” either “originating from space or created by toxic contamination of the earth environment.” And because we’ve already jumped several sharks, there are “Evil Magic Zombies” created from “occult experimentation” and “Vegetarian Zombies” that target plants, not animals, like in the video game “Plants Vs. Zombies” (which the document actually references). And because why not: There are also Chicken Zombies, which were a real thing back in 2006, as Fox News describes. All in all, this is why CONPLAN 8888 needed its disclaimer.

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