For many couples, cheating would destroy a relationship. But that’s not what happened to Elisa and Mike, who appear in TLC’s new polyandry-focused series Seeking Brother Husband. Instead of breaking up, the Los Angeles couple used an incident of infidelity to take their realtionship in a new direction.
The ‘Seeking Brother Husband’ couple’s journey to polyandry began with infidelity’
Seeking Brother Husband highlights couples from around the U.S. who have chosen to embrace polyandry, or women having more than one male partner. The show’s cast includes Elisa, 32, and Mike, 35, who shared the story of how they came to pursue polyandry.
“I cheated on Mike while we were dating,” Elisa explained in the series premiere. “Not because I was unhappy with our relationship but because I just had this really intense connection with somebody else.”
At first, Elisa struggled with her desire to stay with Mike while also wanting to be with other men. Mike also had to work to come to terms with Elisa’s interest in other guys.
“It was quite the rocky path to get to this point,” he said.
Ultimately, the two decided they wanted to stay together. They even got married four years ago. However, they also decided Elisa would have the option to pursue relationships with other partners.
Elisa from ‘Seeking Brother Husband’ said cheating allowed her and Mike to ‘redefine’ their relationship
Ahead of the Seeking Brother Husband series premiere on March 26, Elisa took to Instagram to shed some more light on her unconventional marriage. She said that her infidelity when she and Mike were dating led them to open up their relationship and realize “that polyamory is right for us.”
“More often than not, cheating is something that a couple can’t work through,” she wrote. “But for us, it gave us the freedom to redefine what a healthy and happy relationship looks like.”
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“Since then, we got married and we’ve been together for almost 8 years! There is no ‘right way’ to love,” she added.
Mike from ‘Seeking Brother Husband’ still struggles with his wife’s interest in other men
Mike and Elisa have agreed to pursue polyandry, and she’s looking for another man to date. But while Mike is on board in theory, the reality of his wife being with other men is a challenge.
“I fully trust you now. But there’s still jealousy and some fear and anxiety,” he told Elisa in the Seeking Brother Husband premiere.
Meanwhile, Elisa is finding that dating while married presents its own difficulties. In episode 2, she met up for drinks with a potential partner she met on a dating app. But he seemed more interested in no-strings-attached hookups than a committed relationship.
“The goal is not friends with benefits,” Elisa said to Mike as she debriefed him on her “not so great” date. But she wasn’t completely ruling out a more casual fling. “That could happen,” she added.
“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” her husband replied. “The whole reason we did this was to have deeper, more intimate connections. A friends-with-benefits situation isn’t quite like that. It’s not why we got into all this. It’s not our ultimate goal.”
New episodes of Seeking Brother Husband airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.
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