THE wheels of brand Beckham are well and truly greased, and Posh and Becks’ soft launch of their daughter Harper Seven has sped ahead.
Just days after our Howell revealed Harper had a company set up in her name to funnel her future earnings, she was up on stage this week at Harper’s Bazaar Women Of The Year Awards handing her mum her gong.
Doting dad David was pictured dropping her at Claridge’s hotel in London’s Mayfair for the bash, with my moles telling me Harper was whisked home in a £100,000 chauffeur-driven Maserati alongside a security guard.
Now, this high life is nothing new to Harper, who counts actress Eva Longoria and sports agent Dave Gardner as her godparents, and shares her name with her parents’ £16million superyacht.
She is a rich kid with a very gilded life being mapped out in front of her.
Moaning bores will complain Harper, at 13 years old, is too young to be launched into the spotlight.
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I even saw comments from helicopter-parenting Karens about how Harper was being “sexualised” because of the dress — no doubt carefully chosen by Posh — that she wore to the awards show on Monday.
Keyboard warriors
What a load of garbage.
When I was 13, I was raiding my mum’s wardrobe for outfits, and when out of school uniform wore embarrassingly short skirts and crop tops. Not mum’s, obviously, she is a classy woman.
And as for the social media video of Harper doing her make-up, which gave the judgement brigade something else to gossip about, I suggest they talk to the parent of a girl-teen and ask how their daughter spends their time.
Because I bet most of them are up in their bedrooms recording the exact same “Get Ready With Me” videos for their pals at school.
I understand that none of these teenage girls will ever feel the intensity of scrutiny from the outside world as much as Harper, but let’s face it, we all know evil keyboard warriors are just primed to tap out some hate from their grotty bedrooms — and so do Posh and Becks.
It’s the reason why, I’m sure, Harper still doesn’t have a social media presence.
And when she does, you can bet your last pound it’ll be run by a team of experts that will never allow Harper’s innocent eyes to catch sight of anything negative.
And if she does, a quick chat with Posh — who is continually mocked for being too thin and for never smiling — and Becks, who is made fun of for his voice and his undeniable irritation at still not being given a knighthood, will sort her right out.
They can laugh all they want, Harper, but look at the life you have.
Posh and Becks’ other kids have also gone through the same process and have all come out fine.
In fact, anyone who has met their brood will tell you immediately how polite, respectful and kind they are to everyone they meet.
Romeo was just ten years old when he made his modelling debut for Burberry and that hasn’t done him any harm.
Cruz meanwhile is having his music career so carefully curated it’s been eight years since he was “launched” but we’ve still not heard a note.
And Brooklyn, despite his detractors, is living in a multi-million-pound house in the US rustling up sandwiches.
So far, so inoffensive.
Posh and Becks are the masters of image crafting, which is why their 25-year marriage is still going strong.
No matter what hell is happening behind the scenes, on the outside they are unflappable and infallible.
And I expect no less when it comes to Harper.
The teen has brands queuing up outside her family’s West London mansion, brandishing pay deals worth more than us lot could earn in a lifetime.
But with Posh and Becks carefully working out Harper’s next move with precision planning, I’m genuinely excited to see what she does.
Every year, reality shows like Love Island spew out identikit “stars” who are brutally told they have “six months to make it” or go back into the realms of obscurity.
Ultimately, nearly all of them crash and burn and I sit with my head in my hands when I have to try and remember 30 new names . . . all of which will be forgotten by the end of year.
But there is only one Harper Beckham.
And she will be a proper star none of us are going to forget in a hurry.
Now that is something I am happy to celebrate.
Go get them, Harper. You are going to be a real star.
J-Lo on a high
JENNIFER LOPEZ looks like she’s been catching up on some EastEnders during her whirlwind visit to London.
She wore her best Pat Butcher-style coat as she finished off promoting new film Unstoppable in the capital after two days of back-to-back screenings.
Jen will head off on the next leg of the promotional tour today and was all smiles as she met fans.
Given the fact she’s having to talk about a film she made with her former husband Ben Affleck, she is putting on a masterful show of how to get over an ex.
Speaking about being able to put her feet up soon, Jen said: “It was a pretty intense year for me and I’m most looking forward to spending time with my kids and my family coming out from the East Coast.
“The holidays are such a special time for us and they’ve always been since I was a little girl.
“And I really look forward to those moments when I can be with my sisters and just relax and have fun and create new memories.”
That’s a glass- half-full mentality if ever there was one.
On yer bike, Paddy
RADIO 2 DJ Paddy McGuinness will set off on a 300-mile bike ride for Children In Need on Monday.
And Olympic cyclist Sir Chris Hoy has been helping him prepare for the feat.
Chris, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, got on his bike to put Paddy through his paces earlier this week.
And if their smiles are anything to go by, the training has given them both a lift.
Kygo set full of banger
A KYGO gig is like the best nightclub experience of your life.
During a dance remix of Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing, an AI panda played the xylophone on giant screens behind him.
It’s bonkers and brilliant.
The DJ’s set is packed with some of the biggest dance hits of the decade, like It Ain’t Me with Selena Gomez and his remix of Whitney Houston’s Higher Love.
A medley of Abba’s Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! and Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff also blasted out, while he was joined by Zak Abel and Justin Jesso.
The tour comes to London’s O2 Arena on December 11 and Dublin’s 3Arena on December 13.
Howell Davies
That’s a capital idea Katy
KATY PERRY is making her appearance at Capital’s Jingle Bell Ball a family affair.
The US superstar is playing the second of the two-night event on December 8 and has invited partner Orlando Bloom’s mum to come along for the ride.
Katy said: “Orlando’s mum has actually never seen me play and so I’m excited for her to come and see me live.
“I think she just turned 83 today or yesterday.
“She’s wonderful. She’s full of energy. And I’m just excited to come back to the UK and hopefully follow that up with more.”