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Everything is going swimmingly for Kamala Harris. 

She is, after all, the candidate of JOY! If you don’t see that, you must have just fallen out of a coconut tree. 





You can see the joy everywhere, but there is no place better than a Kamala Harris rally filled with a rent-a-crowd or lured in by a celebrity appearance. Beyonce thrilled her fans when she appeared with Kamala Harris, spoke for four minutes, and rushed off the stage because she didn’t want to catch loseritis from Harris. 

Michele Obama captured the joy in her joint appearance with Harris. She gave a stemwinder of a speech–at least this time it was more than four minutes. Obama instead spent 40 minutes hectoring people and insulting Americans who don’t support Harris. 

Liberals seem to love Michele’s pitch, which boils down to “Americans suck.” That is, after all, the progressive’s pitch. 

“You suck” is sure to win the undecided voters over to the Democrats’ side. 

Of course, Aaron Rupar likes the speech. He thinks Americans suck too. His specialty is, ironically, making “cheap fakes” in which he slices and dices Trump speeches to make them say the opposite of the original. He is quite literally a paid liar whose job it is to convince Americans that up is down, black is white, and Trump is literally Hitler. 

Because in his eyes America sucks, and Americans are stupid enough to buy what he is selling. 

Obama, too, thinks you are stupid. In her Narrative™ Trump is hiding in a basement muttering about how Germany has betrayed him and plotting to execute all the generals who failed him. Harris, on the other hand, is going everywhere, outarguing all her detractors, giving a masterclass in how to be a media figure, and standing tall as roving bands of racists and misogynists yell vile things at her. 





This, we are told, will lead to bipartisanship as the nasty Republicans finally realize her world historic competence and judgment. 

Harris, too, emanates JOY! Her final pitch is simple: unless you vote for me, Donald Trump will line up half the country and shoot them. 

This means you! Donald Trump is determined to kill you! Vote for me!

There are still sane Democrats who are not turning up the heat. Most notable are John Fetterman, who has been critical of the anti-Trump rhetoric, and Eric Adams, who pushed back even harder. 

Adams, you can easily understand: he is going to have to deal with the inevitable riots and violence should Trump win, as it looks likely he will. Riots happened in 2016, and I suspect that 2024’s will be unimaginably worse given how heated the rhetoric has been. 

It is difficult to imagine a scenario in which a Trump victory would result in anything but mass riots. Progressives live in a bizarre world where Spock wears a beard, hoards of MAGA supporters sport agonizers on their belts so they can punish any dissenters, and LGBTQIA+ people are shot in the street. 





What do you say to such people? Saying “calm down” has led to precisely zero people ever calming down. 

What I do know is that ordinary Americans don’t want to live in a world where doctors step up to endorse baby murder and stand idly by as a person has a medical emergency in front of them while doing so. 

As Michele Obama would say, what is WRONG with these people?

Outside that rally a touching moment occurred. A man who apparently supported Trump was passing by, and a Kamala Harris PAID organizer had to let his toddler daughter know how awful her father was. 

That happened. A paid campaign worker yelled at a child in a stroller because the child’s dad voted for the wrong candidate. 

JOY!

ON TO THE MEMES!

BEST OF THE BABYLON BEE













BEST OF THE REST





AND FINALLY…


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