DEAR ABBY: I live in an apartment building. I am quiet and keep to myself. There’s a concierge here who is incredibly nosy. When I pick up my package, she asks, “So, what’s in the package?” as if I’m doing something nefarious. She’s also a terrible gossip and a liar.
At the front desk, as well as to management, she has accused me of doing things that never happened — sexual impropriety, drug and tobacco use, etc. I started receiving strange, unsigned text messages with the same accusations. I can usually recognize who contacts me. My contact information was available in the office.
This woman recently accessed my apartment using a master key. Fortunately, I was home at the time. She was fired, but she was back last weekend. Our manager said she is here “temporarily” until he can find a replacement. There are multiple copies of these keys out there, and I no longer feel safe in my own home. What would you do if you were me? — INVADED IN GEORGIA
DEAR INVADED: Document all the incidents that have happened. If they continue, write down the time and date they occur. This will prove beneficial should you need to escalate the matter. That the manager rehired a fired employee because of a staff shortage is disappointing. (It shouldn’t have happened, and there are better ways of augmenting staff needs.)
Because your manager has been unresponsive, reach out to the property owner or management company and report what has been going on. If that isn’t effective, report the matter to the police. Your safety and well-being must come first.
If you can afford to engage an attorney, consult one for advice on legal options you can consider to protect yourself from harassment, hostility or bullying. If the situation doesn’t improve, consider finding a new place to live.
DEAR ABBY: I am currently married, but I’m looking to get an annulment or divorce. I have met a woman I am falling for. She knows my marital status and feels the same way about me.
I promised her my marriage would be over within eight months, but she feels that with my divorce, my wife should leave even if I move out and rent out my portion of the house. (My soon-to-be ex and I currently live on opposite sides of the house.) Do you agree? — MAKING CHANGES IN NEW YORK
DEAR MAKING CHANGES: Whether or not I agree is irrelevant. The person who should be answering this question is the attorney who will represent you in the divorce. If you really plan to leave the marriage, make an appointment NOW to discuss it.
P.S. And, please, give yourself time after the divorce is final rather than tie the knot again on the rebound.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
